I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Randomize
