it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
