we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
