I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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