No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
