I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
