yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
