i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
