In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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