Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
