There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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