I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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