Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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