YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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