I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
