Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
