Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
