Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
