...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
