did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize