you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
