I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
