i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize