I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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