Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
