In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
