either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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