brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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