I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
