He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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