do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
