I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
