genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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