So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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