I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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