No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
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