I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize