Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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