Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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