I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
