i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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