He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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