with your own penis?
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
