I think my fart just growled at me.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
