even my farts smell like vagina
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
