He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
