The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
