I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
