omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
