Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
