only if we run a train.
done.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
