she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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