i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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