he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
