I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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