you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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