As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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