You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
