please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
