if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
