JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize
