So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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