My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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