you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
